Let’s Have A Celebration!

Brilliant:

ATTENTION ALL AMERICANS

BE A PARTICIPANT ON THIS FIRST TIME IN AMERICAN HISTORY THAT THE ENTIRE NATION WILL SIMULTANEOUSLY RECITE THE PREAMBLE TO THE US CONSTITUTION ACROSS THE WORLD ON THE INTERNET, TELEVISION, AND RADIO!

Yeah, the Constitution. Good thing we’ve got that to protect us:

The Supreme Court on Thursday ruled that local governments may seize people’s homes and businesses — even against their will — for private economic development.

Workin’ out pretty good, isn’t it?

Everyone is invited this September 17th to come and pledge allegiance to the flag of BulldozingYourHouseForTheGreaterGoodistan! The celebration will be held at the future site of Honest Bob’s Used Cars, now temporarily occupied by Mr. And Mrs. Jimmy Smith and family! At noon, an oversize commemorative check will be presented to the Smiths, followed five minutes later by a twenty-one bulldozer salute! All Americans are invited via webcast to recite the Preamble as the D7s roll off the trailers and through what was once the Smith’s living room! Be sure to come to the Celebration Of Freedom following the ceremonial demolition – you could win a key that could start the first car off of Honest Bob’s new dealership!

Special note to the various voting conservatives and faux libertarians: don’t go belly-aching over this latest nonsense. This was all in the cards from the very beginning:

But whether the Constitution really be one thing, or another, this much is certain–that it has either authorized such a government as we have had, or has been powerless to prevent it. In either case, it is unfit to exist.

So whatcha bitchin’ about? Everything is proceeding exactly according to plan: you’re nailed down nice and tight by the government you know and love, and you wouldn’t have it any other way: it just hurts so good.

Anyway, at least it isn’t Albania, right?

Now move the fuck along: the show’s over here. There’s another election coming up soon, so you-all better bust your asses thinking about your vote. You wouldn’t want to lose any freedom, or anything.

6 thoughts on “Let’s Have A Celebration!”

  1. Albania? Sheee-it, you seen what those Commies produce? Look at these manacles, man: 100% Made-In-The-U.S.-Of-Fuckin’-A.! Nice work, huh? And check down there in the corner: a little American flag! Ain’t that to beat all?

  2. Today seemed like a good day to taunt Palmer at CATO with the following cynicism:

    The idea behind Rule of Law was that established government Rules and Laws constituted a system of justice and that we therefore had some moral obligation to obey them. An underlying assumption necessary for the sanity of this system was that the rich and powerful played by the same rules as the poor and weak.

    This idea was always a cruel joke. Popular belief in Rule of Law is a useful weapon for criminals in that it helps neutralize effective resistance to robbery, extortion, and murder, provided said robbery, extortion, and murder is organized by the state.

    Consider the effects of today’s ruling. Starting tomorrow, thieves and vandals will begin bulldozing peoples’ houses, citing this ruling as justification. If the prior “owners” of these houses attempt to defend their “property” against these thieves, armed men calling themselves “the police” will show up and AID the THIEVES. The general public will sit idly by because, after all, “it’s the law.”

    It’s time for us to dispense with the notion that the current legal system is anything other than a tool to facilitate our exploitation and control at the hands of those clever and powerful enough to manipulate it for their own ends.

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